Last recalled: 2026-06-30
When I was very young, when I was learning how to walk and how to talk, I had feelings of needing to do something. In most times, the words were at the tip of my tongue, and I knew how to move my legs but I just couldn’t walk, neither could I talk. But the impulse of exploring the world never stopped.
Finally after I learnt how to walk and how to talk, and when I had more memories, my father played a song in English in his car, which made me wonder what the lyric was about. The song’s name was Yesterday Once More. I still remember the melody after I was so old. Never since then had I the chance to listen to it. It was not until one day that my cousin played it that I found it.
I remember my parents worked at my uncle’s factory, which produces food when I was at that age, before kindergarten.
I wondered about stars and moons, I wondered about a lot of things. I knew just about playing and nothing that bothers an ordinary person’s life, money, job, health, etc. I had parents that loved me well and took good care of me. My sister and I were in very good relationship with members in our larger families too, whenever one of our siblings came we showed a lot of passion and spent happy times, built happy memories.
Later I was sent to kindergarten. If I’m not remembering it wrong, I had two stages of kindergarten life. One was when we were still working and living in the factory, another was when we moved to a new factory that my uncle opened when he expanded the scale.
At the first period it was really hard for me to get away from my parents and I had a tough time understanding why they wanted to send me away. I cried a lot and never wanted to leave. I remember that one day I even required my dad to wait for me at the gate and I could see him when possible. However, when I went to see him, he was not there. That was the only memory that I ever had in that kindergarten. I did not have many friends. It always felt strange to me saying to someone, “can we be friends?”. The way I was educated about friends made me think that every relationship should be very formally confirmed so that I have someone to connect with. I felt awkward.
I remember there was a period of life that I experienced, that we used to rapidly visit the new factory before we decided to eventually move there.
Then finally a day came and we moved in there. Kindergarten also began again. I had quite good time with the kids. I remember that I loved watching animations and TV series a lot, that I even bought toys related to them. Guys were envious and wanted to play with my toys. I had a lot of friends back then.
About one year later the kindergarten moved to a new place, but was not far away from the factory in which we worked and lived. We continued to have great times. School was a lot of fun.
When I came to the third grade of kindergarten I was asked to practice writing letters and learn how to read them. I never knew the purpose of it, I still remember that people who did these had flower stickers that can be put on their forehead, parents who see these get proud of their kids, and kids were happy when they were praised.
Later I got into primary school. I never understood the meaning of studying Chinese and Maths. Never was I devoted to the class. I always hoped classes to end and I can have the fun breaks.
I remember I was taught by my mom that my name was Antony and I was 7 years old so I could make self-introductions. I had no idea of what these mean. Why would people not just know ME? Why would I need so many identities or data instead of just being me? Even now I don’t memorize people’s names or identities, but I simply know it is him or her, and who they are.
Then it came the second year, still Chinese and Maths. I have no idea why these exist. But we did have more tasks and homework. I was quite bothered by them. I was kept at school when I wasn’t able to finish all the tasks, I was sent to my teacher’s house for extra hours, never was I happy about these and never was my father proud of me being kept after school and he had to wait for me.
Finally it came to the third grade and we had English courses, which I had and have always been passionate about. I was always good at English. I understood every word and was able to translate the sentences before anyone could, but the teacher never let me do it. I was always among the top students when it came to English, but the ones being praised was always students who were the top among all three subjects.
I was also by then sent to my math teacher’s house to have some extra hours. It was then that I realized that there are some people living in a different type of house as my family does. They live in a house in a community, with living room, bedrooms and kitchen. We live in a very compacted room that serves almost everything, with only one bedroom where we do all of our stuff.
In my fourth grade I had a lot of money to buy things cuz I always asked my father for 20 yuan each day.
When I was in the fifth grade, there was an English teacher that I never liked, he taught like old people walking, slow and boring. My English dropped a bit.
I couldn’t recall but it seems like when I was at my fourth or fifth grade that an organization called 优漫星未来 came to our school and did an advertisement, and I wanted to go and learn something with them. Then my parents sent me there to learn martial arts, designing 2D cartoons, drawing and hosting. I loved spending my time there as it has a place for me to read a lot of interesting books, it was also when I got to know about Iron Man and started admiring him. Now when I ask my AI agent who am I like, most of them would say Tony Stark because we share a lot of traits, curse of knowledge, anxiety, personality, etc.
I went for a lot of performances with this organization. They gave me a lot of large stages. We even made a short film together!
I couldn’t remember why I left that organization, or if they dismissed due to certain reasons.
It was also the same period when my mom took me to attend one of their classes when I saw someone on the street had very fluent conversation with a foreigner, which really inspired me and ignited my passion even more.
The organisation was called Web International English, and yes I was sent there to study English. They offered real high quality education. They divided English into 8 levels, the fifth level was called “I”, they said that if anyone reaches the sixth level it would be sufficient for communication, and the 7th and 8th levels are for people who do business.
They provided a special PC program for learning English on which we can see visualizations and click on the images to read after them. I remember we had to do them every day which was boring and really really BORING. But as a matter of fact it is also very efficient. It forces an English environment near me and I had to listen, see and speak English every day, and English became part of me.
When we were at the organisation we had two teachers who are responsible for our daily study and courses, one was called tutor, another was called CC which I forgot what it stands for. I had really responsible CC and tutor, who took care of my EVERYTHING. So basically every one of my questions was answered. My first CC, whose name was Daisy, had me in her office and looked at my English homework and went through them with me one by one, which lasts for at least half an hour, no matter whether I understand the question, whether I did them right or wrong. It was then English really became part of me somehow and I was able to get things right without needing to think about them. We also had three types of classes, and in our different learning periods some of them are given by Chinese teachers but most are given by foreign teachers so we had really immersive English environment. I had two tutors whose names were Vingo and Lotus, who also did me a lot of favors in learning English.
I also made a lot of friends, Ricky, etc. I haven’t been in touch with them since, so as most of my relationships. I move from one place to another, friendships were never carried away with me.
The sixth grade seemed pretty fast, that I couldn’t remember much. It was also at the sixth grade that my family managed to buy a house in the center of the town, after I said I like the houses there. Our house was at the 14th and 15th floors, the top two floors. Our uncle also bought a house there, our houses are mirror images of each other.
There were a lot of fun things when I was at my primary school, most of them I’m unable to remember.
For example, one of the weeks the school gathered all of the students (or only 3rd grade students) to practice and perform certain performances. We are asked to repeat one movement, all of us, when one of us failed to perform good enough. It repeated for a lot of times and I was finally unable to stand it that I smashed the paddle which we use to perform on the ground and had everyone a chance to take a break. I was really frustrated then and perhaps also the management level.
I did quite a lot of stupid, bad, but fun things back then. I remember that chicken popcorn was sold at 5 RMB at that time. Now it’s 15 RMB.
The primary school and the kindergarten that I attended were hosted by the same entity so most of my friends I spent 9 years with them. I remember we were divided into two classes, my parents managed to transfer me from one of them to another when I went from kindergarten to primary school and when I was at my sixth grade I was told by one of my friends (wasn’t in the same class with me then) that I used to be the tallest among them (in kindergarten) but now the shortest lol.
I was very naughty and had done a lot of things my father didn’t like or considered shame, and thus was beat in the ass for a lot of time that I grew fear from them.
During the last summer holiday I was so depressed that I gamed a lot to make up for myself, and I gamed A LOT that I had very serious eyesight issue.
Then it was the period of middle school. We moved to center of the town for better education. I did not keep in touch with my old friends. Never did I keep in touch with any of my old friends when I moved away, unless they proactively keep in touch with me and I will be happy to chat with them on anything.
OMG I couldn’t remember much but I remember that I had a crush on one of the girls, who was my desk mate. She was like my Arch Rival. We were both excellent in English and she somehow always scored a bit higher than I did oh my goodness it’s IMPOSSIBLE.
I had my crush on her for 1 or 2 years but I never thought it was the right age for me to be in love with someone thus I didn’t do anything. Bullshit. When you feel it, you have the need, and there’s no such thing called early romantic relations, which I thought existed, and should’ve been called unknown form of “like” named by the adults. I mean, I can tell the feeling, as a 20-year-old ancient guy from where I am at present.
I didn’t have much feeling or memory of my first period of middle school somehow, but I remember that I was quite good at long run, perhaps due to the training I received from martial arts.
I remember there was a girl with whom I learnt martial arts, we’ve experienced a lot together.
One day the water purifier at the organization was not working, and during the break when we take martial art classes we were so thirsty, someone has to buy some water back so we could drink. I was the one. I was late for 4 minutes and was required to do 400 squats to make up for it. I bought multiple bottles of water, at least 4 of the people got water from me, the girl was one of them. The coach said that anyone could share the 400 squats with me. I did not ask any of them to do so. The girl did 200 for me and I did the other half.
The girl left the organization earlier than I did. She went for boxing, where my mom also sent me to afterwards. My mom and her mom were in good relationship back then, that even after one day I dreamt of the girl she still managed to get her WeChat for me. Do not think too much here, I just wanted to say thank you to her. Back on the topic, I was sent to boxing. Me and the girl had already gone for multiple performances when learning martial arts btw before the boxing. We were very good friends, that sometimes people gossip about us, that I had to keep a distance which I now realize was wrong. Now I do not care what people think of me cuz I know they simply don’t make a difference on my life, but I cannot judge the past Antony based on what I have learnt now, it is never fair to do so. If I was put back into that scenario again, based on what I learnt back then I would probably do the same thing.
I have always hated school. I had no idea why we have to learn all of these that doesn’t contribute to our future careers. It’s like everyone is trying to swallow all these knowledge and then omit them our in one exam and another. I had to get up at 6am, arrive school before 7am, and finish school at 9pm, not to mention the homework that I had. Rest was never enough, plus I had a lot of pressure on me so I had revenge bedtime procrastination, which made life even harder for me. One morning I felt helpless and hopeless, and suddenly didn’t want to attend school, so I ran away. I was very sleepy and had nowhere to go. I stayed on the street and tried to get some sleep. I literally had nowhere to go because once I got home and met my mother she would most certainly send me to school again. My parents were never able to understand me. I couldn’t make it on the streets, it was impossible so I made my way home. At the first floor I met my mom who was at her idk how many times on her way searching for me and I was couldn’t make it anymore. I said I want to sleep and luckily was approved to get some back home. I remember I was also unable to finish the homework from last time so I wasn’t able to sleep at all, but at the same time I could not let anyone know it.
When I was at the last half of my 2nd year in middle school, my family went from Nantong, Jiangsu back to Wenzhou, Zhejiang. It was the time when I got my first pair of glasses because my near-sight was really a serious issue that I wasn’t able to see anything. I was never brave enough to talk about it with my parents before because I always assumed that I would be blamed, at the same time it will cost a large amount of money, so I chose to suffer it for two years, during which my eyes’ condition got even worse. I always regretted doing all of these to my eyes, at the end of the day, it was my body that took all the damage. But I never blamed myself for it. If it were not for all these pressure I wouldn’t have done these.
He would say that God had given him a tail to keep the flies off, but that he would sooner have had no tail and no flies.
I was also sent to a teacher’s home for accommodations and for extra hours. It was painful for me cuz my parents wanted better and more education for me but the people I met there barely study. I was unable to study in such environment. But they were very nice people, it was just that study was not for them, neither was study in China for me.
One year later I attended high school entrance exam, which took me to high school.
I attended college in Jinxiang, Cangnan.
The first year I decided to really study well and immerse myself in the academic atmosphere. I met a girl, who sat behind me, who was always charming and caught my attention.
After 4 months of observation I was certainly sure that I was in love, then after several months of pursuit we were together.
We shared very happy memories together.
These violent delights have violent ends.
Shakespeare
We had many conflicts, most of which we were able to solve at the beginning. We were very thoughtful and cared a lot for each other. Later as conflicts got more and more, I decided to break up. It was the last half of my second year in high school. I said at least we need to finish the college entrance exam first. I always had my academic pursuit, and always had I considered better education, better college, and better opportunities important.
Very pitifully high school was never for me. I do not consider Chemistry or Maths helpful for my development.
The rest one more year I spent my time on learning how to code in Python with the help of AI (I engaged Python at my first grade but only started focusing on it after GPT-3 was released and I had stable assistance in debugging and self-learning) and running.
Perhaps it was the help of running that I was able to cope with my life. I ran little at first, then I was able to run for long time and long distance. When it was stable, I ran three times a day, one in the morning, one at noon, one in the evening. I even worked out during the night. I had rather regular life, my routine of running and working out were mostly fixed, and I even brought my laptop to school so I could learn programming secretly.
I was unable to stand the studying at high school. I considered it a pity and shame that we have to shape ourselves to fit into different models to pleasure the others.
The three years in high school taught me how to open up to someone, even just a little bit, and started my journey in pursuing technology. I have been keeping up with the AI trend, using a lot of open source or AI tools to boost my productivity and done a lot of things, all of which thanks to me back then.
It’s always been painful finding out what is wrong in the bugs or on the servers, it takes hours and brings pain of physical level, but by the time after successfully setting up something, or creating my own tools/platforms it has always been worth it.
When college entrance exam was approaching, I chose another path which was early admission for higher vocational programs, I took interviews in four universities, all of which accepted me and I chose WZBC for the opportunity of exchanging in international universities.
I had a rather long summer holiday but due to the loss of a playground and my watch I stopped running, which I’m currently paying for.
The most time-wasting thing that you could possibly do in college is attending classes. The second is scrolling.
Idk who said this
I enrolled in the elite program to look for the academic atmosphere that I was hoping for. However, GPA was something I always neglected as I was not preparing to go abroad for further education due to my economically-disadvantaged background.
The first year was acceptable. We had classes taught by foreign teachers and I had a lot of interactions with them. Except for courses, I spent most of my time exploring coding, coding along, watching online tutorials, going to the library, running, having a regular routine, exploring AI, etc.
I was also invited to BP Debate Union by Charlie, which was a rather good experience for me. We had debate every week for two times. It’s always been exciting, full of challenge, knowledge, and love in that little space. I always wanted a high-intensive environment for speaking English and sharpening the mind, and I was luck to be invited to the club.
It was the first winter in my college life when I bought my first server and first domain logicalise.com, and started running online services and websites, which changed my life to a great extent.
I remember the first site that I created was named Logic Alise, it is named from “logicalise”, to make things logical. It had two subtracks, one for debate and another for coding, corresponding to two of my development branches. I also updated “Copilot Daily” everyday from Copilot in my blog but I had to stop as it consumed me a lot of time.
Later I tried to deploy more and more open-source projects and tried to do more with them, that is why early members saw a lot of services in the benefits page of BP Debate Union website.
My servers were also hacked multiple times which taught me the importance and methods of securing my servers. Now my servers have been safe for a rather long time.
There are a lot that happened in the club which I’m not going to mention one by one, so feel free to read the blog below.
The summer before my second year in WZBC we had a social practice program, a part of course that everyone has to finish, also most of whom chose to make up all the materials and skip.
Willing or unwilling were the members, I led them to build an website for Ouxiu, a cultural heritage in Wenzhou. The website was ouxiu.bpdebate.club. The idea of this project was brought up by the team of my high school classmate’s, who is studying in Yunnan Technology and Business College. Technology support of the this project was provided by BP Debate Union, and the project was built by our practice team WZBC Jinhua Team, we had a list of contributors.
In my second year I served as the president of BP Debate Union, but I never had any courses taught by a foreign teacher, so I had to proactively involve in one, and also to host my own events in BPDU to create the environment that I need.
I had multiple attempts in creating my ideal environment, academic, community, collective pursuit, online debate, cooperation with a lot of other debate clubs, host tournaments, etc. Some of which I succeeded, some of which fail, or some of which partially achieved.
Perhaps it was during the winter of my second year or another one I couldn’t remember, I was studying in our club’s room and met the co-fonder of the club Jasmine, with who I talked a lot with. We mentioned Bowen Cup, we mentioned how could the club develop, how could it be managed, and all the expectations. It was a very enjoyable conversation, so as the other ones I had with her. Jasmine has always been someone that’s optimistic and brings love and hope. It was based on her experience and ideas that I hosted Bowen Cup II.
It was the same semester when I met a teacher who was so creative that I was so much inspired by him and applied a lot of his methods in my events. The name is Ricky. (The second Ricky that I’ve met!)
It all went well but later I had problems.
Now when I’m writing and refining this blog I have already finished all of my exams in my second year. I’m already feeling much better after seeking help from professional medical intervention (I took Flupentixol and Melitracen Tablets for a month and currently I’m not using any medicine but doing psychological constructions). Perhaps the man himself is his biggest enemy. I had too many things I wanted to do that my body and emotions failed to cope with. I have also realized a lot that I’m unable to accept them all at once.
Anyway. Life is like a box of chocolate! Let’s see how it goes!
Thanks To:
All my family members, all my dear friends, all my respected teachers, all those who were part of my life and made a difference.
Antony,
The most handsome and the sexiest man in the world
June 25, 2026
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